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blog 014: turning 28 & living like a sunflower

The blog has taken a back seat, and truly, I've missed it.


I'll get it together before 2024 starts.


I'm 28 now. That sounds so wild to say (or rather, type). I'm not sure who 'they' is, but they say once you turn 25, you have this epiphany about life. The things you allow, the people you call friends, the habits you want to change or add to your life... it's all flipped and your perspective switches. I turned 25 during Covid, so I feel like I was robbed of that year. My friends and I decided since that's the perfect age, we're telling people we're 25, and truthfully I think we can pull it off... for now. At that age, I got out of a 4+ year relationship and I realized some friends were better as acquaintances. Covid tested my patience workwise. Thankfully, I persevered. That was my version of the epiphany. As I headed into 28, I had another... we'll call it epiphany, but it felt more like a breakdown.


I was feeling so behind in my career and what I want to do. I'm not dating, I don't necessarily want kids (mostly because I don't have a significant other), I don't own a house, I don't have a puppy - the list goes on.


I travel all. the. time. I love airplanes. I love hotels. I love exploring and visiting new corners of the world. So let's put this into perspective. It's hard to date while my schedule is so unpredicatble. I probably wasn't the best girlfriend and wouldn't be the best girlfriend in that situation again. I would be a terrible dog owner, and my parents would become the sole care taker if I was to get a dog. I wouldn't necessarily be able to give a house the love it deserves to make it feel like a home.


When I was younger, I assumed I'd have all these things by now. But you grow up. Things don't go how you scripted them in your journal as a little girl. You outgrow the things and people you thought you would love forever. This time can be really lonely. And it's not because you don't have your people surrounding you, but it's because you have to get real with yourself. Who decided for us or made us believe that by 22, you'll be married to the guy you met in class in college. You'll have the career of a lifetime, the babies, the golden retreiver, and a pretty house with a white picket fence.


But then it clicks. There are so many things to explore in this world. Your timeline is perfect, as long as it's for you.


The day I started typing this, I was talking to a friend and I was joking about how 'old' I am. His response kind of lit a fire in my heart. He said something along the lines of "I won't be in my prime until I'm 35". And I could take this in a different direction of male vs female timeslines, but that's not what I was feeling when he said this. Instead it made me smile. He's right. Your prime doesn't have to be when you're "young(er)".


The next day, I saw a post on Instagram by a friend from college. She posted a couple of photos next to some sunflowers with a quote from Rupi Kaur:


despite knowing

they won't be here for long

they still choose to live

their brightest lives


~ sunflowers


This is a reminder for me, but maybe you'll resonate with it too. Sometimes I feel suck with decisions, places, people, etc. Not many things in this sweet life are permanent. If you're unhappy, you can change what's making you unhappy. If you're lonely, there are so many people who are excited to cheer you on and love you. This life can feel so serious all the time, but it really is in your hands to create your brightest life, just like the sunflowers.


with so much love,

AK

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